


Snapshots

by AMidnightDreary



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Banter, Hangover, Human Loki (Marvel), Humor, Loki is Not Amused (Marvel), M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, One Night Stands, Unspecified Setting, implied drunk sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29639808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMidnightDreary/pseuds/AMidnightDreary
Summary: Loki doesn't do one-night stands. He certainly doesn't do drunk one-night stands.Usually.
Relationships: Loki & Natasha Romanov, Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 23
Kudos: 176





	Snapshots

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is. Enjoy.

Maybe, Loki thinks, he should give Natasha his explicit permission to hit him if he ever even thinks about touching a drink again. And then he thinks that a mere hit wouldn't be a severe enough punishment, but his head hurts too much to come up with anything better. Maybe evisceration? Drawing and quartering? Wait, no. It's likely that Natasha would actually _do_ that.

Now Loki thinks that maybe he's going to throw up.

"Oh, fuck," someone mutters next to him. They sound exactly like he feels - like a wreck.

Loki forces his eyes to open and turns his head, which, oh god, bad decision. Can alcohol even cause a headache this bad? Maybe he has a brain tumor. Maybe he's dying. That would actually be a mercy at this point, because… hm.

His thoughts trail off slowly and sluggishly. It's like wading through knee-high mud. He blinks. He looks at the man who is lying next to him, and the man looks at him too, and suddenly Loki has a very, very bad feeling that has nothing to do with his hangover.

"Oh, fuck," Tony Stark says again, this time with feeling. _"You?"_

Castration, Loki thinks numbly. Maybe castration would be a good punishment for this. 

What on Earth was he _thinking?_

"Stark," he says, flatly. He sounds like he hasn't spoken in ten years, and his mouth feels like something very small and very furry curled up and died in there. It's still a better feeling than the realization that yes, he is, in fact, in bed with Tony Stark. 

"God," Stark says. He lifts the blanket they're sharing - _why are they sharing a blanket why why why -_ and peers down at himself. He looks like he is very much done with this.

Loki lifts his side of the blanket and decides that he is very much done with it as well. He drops it again and puts his arm over his eyes instead.

He slept with Tony Stark. He doesn't really remember sleeping with Tony Stark, but that is most definitely what happened. 

Loki finally comes to the conclusion that he wasn't thinking anything at all.

"This is really awkward," Stark says.

"Yes," Loki agrees. He sends a quick prayer to whatever nonexistent deity might be listening, because maybe they would like to kill him right this second, and that would be fantastic for everyone involved.

Stark groans quietly, equally annoyed. "I don't even _like_ you."

"Do you like everyone you sleep with?" Loki murmurs. "Because then you must like half of the city very much."

"Don't slutshame me before I've had coffee," Stark says. After a moment he adds, almost like an afterthought, "asshole."

"Oh dear," Loki says. "Now you've hurt my feelings."

"Where the fuck are we?"

Loki sighs and takes his arm away from his eyes again so that he can squint at their surroundings. "My bedroom," he realizes, surprised. "My apartment."

"What? Isn't your apartment like, on the other end of the city?"

"As opposed to what?"

"Your brother's house?"

Oh. Oh, right. His brother's house. There was a party at his brother's house, and Loki went to that party because Thor had looked at him with puppy eyes long enough that Loki hadn't been able to decline, and then Loki had a lot of shots with Natasha, which was a very bad idea. And then he also dragged Stark through the whole city to sleep with him, apparently. That was an even worse idea.

It's all Thor's fault, naturally.

"I'm going to murder Thor to death," Loki declares, weakly.

Stark has the audacity to snort. "What else would you murder him to?"

"Please just go, would you."

"I just mean that death's kinda the only possible result of murder."

"Stark."

"I don't know where my things are."

"So find them."

"I reek. Can I take a shower?"

Loki doesn't even care anymore. He nods, and Stark drags himself out of bed. Loki doesn't tell him where the bathroom is, instead he just waits until he can't hear Stark's steps anymore, and then he sits up and rubs his eyes. His head feels like it's five times bigger than usual.

He doesn't even _like_ Stark. And usually he doesn't do this kind of thing, either. One-night stands are so awfully dull, and most of the time the sex isn't worth awkwardness in the morning. And, really - _Stark?_ They barely even know each other, and they are definitely not friends. No, Stark is a friend of Bruce Banner, and Bruce Banner is a friend of Thor, and so Loki and Stark cross paths now and then. Whenever they are in the same room together, they end up fighting.

Or fucking. Apparently. 

Loki half wants to ask Natasha or Thor how this happened, because he really doesn't remember, but he also doesn't feel the need to make this any more humiliating than it already is. And he thinks that he remembers… something. Snapshots. Stark going cross-eyed while tapping away on his phone to call them a taxi. Stark being a warm and solid weight against Loki's side in the car. Stark laughing at something Loki said. Stark sucking a mark into Loki's skin. Stark putting his head on Loki's chest, already snoring.

So that's why they were sharing a blanket, then.

He hears the shower start. After listening for a moment, he touches his fingertips to his neck, where he finds a patch of skin that feels a little tender. He's very sure that he will find a hickey there when he looks in the mirror. 

Lovely. Just lovely.

When he finally manages to stand up, he does feel like he's going to be sick, but he grits his teeth and drags his feet to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He finds some painkillers and swallows two, and leaves two more on the counter for Stark.

Stark showers quickly. When he shuffles into the kitchen, he looks at least somewhat human again, even though his clothes still reek. Loki gestures at the second glass and the painkillers. Stark's face lights up, and he empties the glass with a few gulps.

"Well," he says then.

"Yes," Loki says.

"What now?" Stark asks, yawning. "Do we just never talk about this again?"

"That would be preferable."

"Hm. I think the sex was pretty good, though."

Loki is too hungover for this. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

The sarcasm makes Stark smirk. "I'm just saying - I wouldn't be opposed to a second, sober round."

"I'm too hungover for this," Loki thinks again, this time out loud. "Just go."

Stark laughs, and he goes.

Later, after taking a very long shower, Loki looks at his phone. He has two texts from Natasha: 

_If you dragged him away to have sex, I demand you call me in the morning so I can laugh at you._

_If you dragged him away to kill him, call me anyway. I'll help you hide the body._

Loki groans and tosses his phone way. He sits on his bed and pouts for a moment, glaring at the stained sheets. Then he grabs his phone again and calls Natasha to let her laugh at him, because god knows he deserves it.


End file.
